Arjay's Reversal

"Computer,"

The computer beeped, announcing that it was attentive and awaiting further instruction.

"Open file, personal log. New entry, begin recording."

Several more beeps indicated the computer's compliance with Arjay's instructons.

"Personal log, April 15, 2256. I have just returned from space station where I met with ensign Ian Green." Arjay paused and gathered his thoughts. "I went to meet Mr. Green because of Morgan's recommendation." He paused again. "Quite frankly, I don't agree with Morgan's recommendation." Another pause, then his words came pouring out. "Morgan has always been a supporter of the younger officers. He believes it behooves us to help them gain space experience. Starfleet encourages it. Me, on the other hand, I'm opposed to it. I've been opposed to the whole idea of sending kids into space since, since, well since a long time. Morgan knows it, Linda knows it. Fortunately they both have the good sense not to try talking me into this. So do I have a valid point here or not? Am I a crusty old fart of a space captain, am I just prejudiced here?

"I need to think of this in terms of what's best for this mission, I need to be able to see past my prejudice. Which navigator would best serve this mission, Fiorini or Green? Fiorini is older, more experienced. "Green saw that I had lied to him when I told him I'd already decided on Fiorini. He also had the good sense not to call me on it. But I can't say I care for his foolish notions about him belonging in space, and that future of mankind thing. It sounded like a bunch of regurgitated nonsense.

"But he is a bright kid. I got to give him that. He really does want to be on this mission. He's also arrogant and cocky.

"Fiorini or Green? Each has his strengths, each has weaknesses. Either one will get the job done, can navigate for Dawn. I just prefer Fiorni because he's more experienced. Hell, I just prefer him because he's older, because he's not a foolish kid, so arrogant and cocky.

"So there you have it Arjay. The answer to your question. Am I a crusty, old, prejudiced space fart? Well, it looks like somewhere along the way I've become.

"So what am I struggling wih here? If I'm so certain I prefer Fiorini with his experience, if I'm so certain Green is too..., well, too green for the job, then why am I still chewing over this? Why haven't I called Morgan and given him instructions? What am I not telling myself here?" At this point, Arjay paused for a good, long, reflective couple of minutes.

"Fiorini, he's actually performed the navigator's duties a few missions ago, under special circumstances. He had performed his job well. But there was something about him that was a little off. It's hard to describe, it's as if a part of him hadn't been there. He had been willing to fill in, had been willing to do what was necessary at the time, and I have no doubt he would pitch in again if asked, that he would serve as required.

"It's as if his spirit hadn't been on the bridge, hadn't been there with the command crew. He was happiest working on the engineering deck, working with the machines. That's what it was. That's where he belonged. Computer, pause."

Something about the last words he had just spoken resonated. "Aw hell," Arjay muttered to himself. He remembered when Green had told him that he belonged in space. Arjay had scoffed at him. How could a young kid know anything about space; how could a young kid know enough to know it's where he belonged?

"Computer, resume. If I put Fiorini on the bridge in front of the navigation console, he'll do what he's supposed to. But he won't be doing what he is best at. It would be like taking him out of his natural element, and that wouldn't be fair to Fiorini, and it wouldn't be fair to the mission. I don't like the idea of putting Green on the bridge. I still believe Fiorini is the best man for the job. But it's not the best job for the man."

Arjay had been captain long enough to have learned the skill of admitting when he was wrong. He also did not enjoy taking too long to make a decision. This was a decision on which he had spent enough time already. He had spent enough time discussing it with Morgan, had spent enough time meeting with Green, had spent enough time debating it in his own mind, and now was time to commit to his decision.

"Computer, cancel log entry." Arjay turned to his communication console and keyed in the access code that would connect him to Morgan.

"Morgan," he said, when the image of his first officer appeared on the screen. "Give Mr. Green a call. Have him come aboard Dawn."